Friendships Will Fall
by Tasumi Castrogiovanni
Summary: Kevin and Javier wake up from an unusual night. What happened? What did they do?  Rated T cause there's no real explicit details about the happenings, but just to be safe. some cursing. mmm yeah, it's slash.
1. My Own Worst Enemy: Lit

"Ay Dios Mio! Kevin! Bro! What are we doing? What the fuck?" Detective Javier Esposito was confused, flustered, a jumble of emotions. He looked down at himself. He was naked, except for his plaid boxers. What _were_ they doing? How drunk had they gotten last night? This just wasn't right.

"Ay Dios mio!" he shouted again.

"Bro, get up!" Javier shook his partner's shoulders.

_Partner? Well, right now he's my enemy, for doing this to me, with me. Or maybe I'm my own worst enemy. I got myself into this. Maybe we're both to blame. Or maybe neither of us._

"Dammit!" Javier cried out, bashing his fist against the end table, cracking the cheap wood slightly. He didn't know who to blame, what to think, or how to feel. This was too messed up.

"Woah. What's going on? What time is it? Oh, wow only 8:30." Detective Kevin Ryan said, his voice slightly raspy. He sat up in bed."What's with the crashing?" He looked down to see himself in just his boxers and in a bed that wasn't his own. "Why are you yell- Wait N-No. No no no. Please tell me it's not what I think it is." He continued murmuring "no" under his breath as he gathered up his jacket, shirt, shoes, and belt, tangled with Javier's things and strewn across the floor.

"I wish I could, but I don't know. We gotta pull together and figured out what happened." Javier tried to sound calm, but he knew his voice quavered. He felt dirty and nasty. _I think I'm gonna be sick._

Kevin pulled on his khakis and button-down, but didn't button it. He dropped everything else and flopped back down on the soft mattress with a drawn out "Fuuuuuck!"

"I feel the same way. At least we don't have to go into work today. We can sort this out and not have to worry about solving murders or pushy Beckett yelling at us to finish paperwork." He mustered the best chuckle he could, but it was a sad attempt. He faked a cough to cover it up.

"Um so I guess we should, maybe, recap, if that's the correct word." Kevin finally said after a brief silence.

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. Just let me think for a moment. I have to clear my head."


	2. A Beautiful Lie: 30 Seconds to Mars

So after we solved the murder yesterday, you, me, Castle, and Beckett went out for drinks. At um, at the Haunt?"

"Yeah, we sat at a table. We all had about 2 beers each. Then I got us a couple rounds of shots. Beckett, oh man, she had like four. Castle had one, wimp. You and I had three each. Or maybe four. I dunno. Then Castle and Beckett shared a cab." He chuckled. "They definitely went back to her place. Sly bastards. Always saying there's nothing between them."

"Hmph. So true. But back to the situation at hand. They left, we stayed, moved to the bar, I ordered us a few more beers." As he said this he found and put on a pair of sweatpants. He paused. "Ugh. I have such a headache, I'm gonna get some water and an aspirin...or 50." He went through the living room and into the kitchen. "Need anything? Maybe I'll make coffee. Hope I have some. Yeah, here we go. Need to find mugs. And that damn aspirin." Javier was rambling. He couldn't help it, he rambles when he's nervous.

Kevin sat on the couch in the living room. "Just a couple of aspirin. Just 2 or 3. And a cup of coffee, please." Kevin was speaking as if to someone he wasn't close to, like it was awkward to be here. _Usually it's not awkward like this. We can joke and laugh and clown around. We're best friends. I'm so nervous. And I can tell he's nervous. He rambles. This is fucked up. Will things ever be able to go back to normal?_ Kevin Ryan knew Javier was thinking the same.


	3. My Apocalypse: Metallica

It was now 9:15. Javier had sat down on the couch next to Kevin. After 4 cups of coffee were downed, five aspirins swallowed, and twenty silent minutes suffered, Javier finally spoke.

"Dude, we have to figure out why we did this. I mean, come on, no one gets drunk enough to hook up with their same-sex best friend and business partner. We need to unmask our feelings or whatever the hell you wanna describe this shit as." A few seconds passed. "I just want answers!" Javier exclaimed, bringing his fist down on the coffee table, with twice as much force as he had on the end table in his bedroom.

The same bedroom where he had slept with Lanie plenty of times. The same bedroom where he had cried himself to sleep after he found out his old partner, Ike Thornton, was dead. The same bedroom where he cried tears of joy because Ike was actually alive. And now it was the bedroom where he had hooked up with his best friend. He hated himself.

"I want answers, too! This is just wrong! This sort of thing doesn't happen between bros! Dammit! What exactly did we do together last night? I know w- we, we," Kevin couldn't help but stutter. This was so weird to speak of. "um made out, hooked up, but how far?"

Javier flinched as if these words slapped him in the face. "I'm pretty sure we went damn far. I hate to say that though. I can't believe this." he stared at the floor, tracing the diamond pattern. Tears stinging in his eyes, he refused to look up at his friend. At least until he could completely contain the tears.

Kevin felt tears in his own eyes. He turned toward Javier, taking a good look at him. He noticed his strong neck, his broad shoulders, and the perfect shade of mocha his skin was. He also noticed tears swelling in his eyes. _Why am I noticing all of this? He's my bro, not my significant other. Maybe were feeling this way because we need someone. Jenny just called off our engagement. Lanie was moved to a place in D.C. and those two were never more than friends with benefits. Dammit! If we needed someone, we would go look. This is deeper._


	4. Misery: Maroon 5

Javier turned towards Kevin. His buddy's eyes were shining with tears, just like his own. Those eyes, those chrystal blue eyes. He could almost see himself in them. They were beautiful, he had always known Kevin had nice eyes, but he had never appreciated them as much as he did at this moment. _Why is this attracting me? Why? Why? Why?_

They locked eyes. They couldn't say anything. They couldn't feel anything. They just moved towards one another, as if pulled and pushed by an invisible puppeteer. They kissed, then pulled away, with surprised expressions on their faces. Then they kissed again, and this time, they didn't pull away. It felt wrong at first, but then they knew it was right. How could their true feeling for each other have been hidden for all these years? They weren't just "bros" or "buds", they were more than that. It was just hidden. Hidden in plain sight.

It wasn't until Javier's alarm clock went off at 10 that they stopped and came back into the world. It blasted through the whole apartment. Kevin felt like each beep pierced through his chest like tiny daggers. He felt pained to know he had done things with his friend he wouldn't normally do. Javier got up and strode into his bedroom and tapped the 'off' button.

Kevin sighed and fell face first onto the couch, then bolted upright. _I'm going home; I need to get away from all this._ He collected his belongings, and fixed up his clothes. He then walked over to Javier's bedroom and stood in the doorway. Javier was sitting on his bed, head in his hands.

"Javi," he began. He tried again. "Javi, we obviously have something more than just a friendship going on. I realize this and I just need to get home and think about everything." Kevin paused. He noticed on Javier's bedside table there was a picture frame. The picture inside was of the two of them laughing with arms around each other's shoulders. He had the same picture in the same spot at his apartment. That photo was taken after they had solved their first murder together, and to celebrate they went out for drinks. _At least that time we got drunk we were throwing up, not hooking up._ He smiled in spite of his heartbreak and misery. He found his train of thought and finished what he was saying "I'm gonna head home. I'll see you at the precinct first thing tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, man. See you." Javier didn't even look up. They both knew this was the end of a remarkable friendship and a well-formed bond.


End file.
